Toni Northern

__L

I am me.

I am my own soul.

My own mind.

My own heart.

I am me.

And while in a day, I was so distraught, 

Sad, mad, and aggravated,

A thought, voice, came into my mind saying, 

"Hate."

"You're human."

"Be angry,

"Be hateful,

"Be cruel,

"Be human."

"You're so kept up, 

"So good."

"And look at all the good ones in this world,

"Suffering,

"Suffering hard, 

"Preyed upon by the terrible and the bad,

"The sad and depraved,

"They become martyrs,

"Set to die in agonizing pain."

"Let go of the good,

"Set yourself free,

"This is not really you,

"You are me."

"You lie,

"You hate,

"You're cruel,

"Desperate,

"And dumb,

"An unholiest of the unholy ones,

"You're flawed,

"You're no saint, 

"Your good is only there for gain."

 

What a feeling,

A terrible thing,

I thought.

But truth be true,

I fought.

Of course,

I said,

I am flawed,

We all are,

But we have a right to erase our scars,

The ones on our souls,

The ones in our hearts.

Of course,

I am no saint,

I do good,
It is what I wish to be in this life,

I hope to be blessed, not cursed.

 

"But all you have are curses,

"It, the voice, said,

"All you've gotten is people's hatred,

"Give it back to them,

"Let it shape their fate,

"As it has yours."

 

But truth be true I said,

Hate,

Makes me feel bad,

Sad,

Meaningless in life,

It is a waste of my mind.

I express my feelings through art,

Using my greatest machines,

The creativity in my mind, 

And in my heart.

Truth be true,

You feel like the worse thing I could ever do,

You're cold, empty, a bottomless pit in a sinking darkness where there's no hope,

No light,

No change,

Only repetitive painful things.

You may have come drawn by my anger,

But you are a stranger,

An evil,

Dangerous,

That I hope will go away,

That I pray,

You go away.

 

"No," said the demon,

"As long as there is anger,

"I am here to stay."

 

Well, I said,

Truth be true,

I will fight you everyday.

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